Myths of Motherhood
My Kids Reflect My Parenting
While our parenting can shape the choices that our kids make, the outcome of our children’s choices is not a weight for us to carry. If our kids make some poor choices or end up in some tough life situations, they are ultimately responsible for those choices. It is our calling and responsibility to be faithful to provide our children with the best instruction we can (Proverbs 22:6). Our faithfulness is all that is in our control. Proverbs 31:25 describes a woman “clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Why does she laugh at the future? Because she knows that no matter what comes her way, God holds her future and is walking beside her every step of the way.
My Kids Come First
The truth is that you cannot pour from an empty cup. The truth is we will not be able to be the best version of ourselves with our families if do not take the time to fill our ‘cups’ with time in God’s word, wise counsel from other mothers, and by maintaining our spousal relationship. God intended for our relationship priorities as women to be, first, with God, second, with our spouse, and then our family. Keeping these priorities in order will not only help us be better mothers, but also keep your marriage flourishing long after the child-rearing days. Genesis 2:24 doesn’t say that a husband and wife come together as one flesh – until they have children and then the children take priority. It describes a relationship of two people becoming united – physically, spiritually, emotionally, and yes, even in parenting.
Self-Care is Selfish
Most mothers love with a selfless love. They would do anything for the ones they love. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. In fact, we would argue that self-care is a selfless act that equips and empowers you to be the best wife, mother, friend, sister, or aunt that you can possibly be. 1 Peter 3:4 describes a beauty that comes from within that is precious to God – pursue this kind of beauty.
On airplanes they say, “Put your oxygen mask on first, then assist others around you.” Why? Because if you do not have the proper oxygen you need, you will not physically be able to take care of those around you. The same applies to your self-care!
The Perfect Mother Exists – And It’s Not Me!
Due to social media, many mothers compare the highlight reel of this elusive ‘perfect mother’ that they see on Instagram to their everyday lives. This is a dangerous comparison to make as it compares the best moment of someone’s day to the worst moment of our own. You were created specifically for the children that God gave to you. He has uniquely equipped you to be their mother. Treasure each moment with your children, no matter how imperfect they are. (Luke 2:51 – And his mother [Mary] treasured up all these things in her heart)
This week’s podcast is hosted by with Tova Kreps, LCSW with guests Beverly Barrios, and Patricia Ritsema.
